Posts Tagged ‘germs’

Sigh No More, Rewritten: Mumford & Sons Inspire Sinus Sister

November 24, 2011  |  Lifestyle  |  , ,  |  7 Comments

Same song, different lyrics

Sniff No More

Sneezer, cougher, repent
Your germs will not relent
To a kiss, I can’t consent
And I’m sorry
I’m sorry

Sniff no more, no more
Or I’ll show you the door
The sound’s what we abhor
You know me
You know me

A nose ain’t a picky thing
A nose ain’t a picky thing
A nose ain’t a picky thing
A nose ain’t a picky thing

Germs will always betray you
Dismay, not evade you
They will make you ill
Sneeze in my face
And it’s you I’ll kill
You may mean no harm
But you cause some alarm
In my mind you see
Immunity’s low
Despite Vitamin C.

Handwasher’s Helpmate: Avoiding Granny Hands with Lush Dream Cream (Review)

November 13, 2011  |  Cosmetics  |  , ,  |  4 Comments

Sinus Sister reaches for some lube

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Washing your hands six or seven times a day has consequences. Not only does it give people the chance to mock your O.C.D., but your hands start to look old—old like they survived the siege of Leningrad. Looking down at her red and cracked fingers of Irish descent, Sinus Sister thought her hands belonged to a refugee from the Potato Famine, clawing her way onto a coffin ship bound for Canada.

Okay, that’s a bit dramatic. But when a woman sees the early stages of her own granny hands, she freaks. Then she spends money. Enter the hand creams. Expensive hand cream is one of the most satisfying spends in the pharmacy, because the results are instant and reassuring. Lush’s Dream Cream is aptly named and worth considering for your sink-side moisturizer. It soothed my embattled hands within a few days and doesn’t feel slippery or oily. Witness the lack of fingerprints on my laptop. There are oats in the formula—always a good sign—along with rose water and chamomile.

What we love about Dream Cream: the whipped-creamy consistency
What it smells like: Play-Doh, which isn’t necessarily a deterrent
What we don’t love so much about Dream Cream: the price ($24.95 for 8.4 oz.)
Why we’re willing to pay: gnarled hands are avoidable

Hands Down Winner: Beating the Common Cold with O.C.D.

November 4, 2011  |  Lifestyle, Survival Tips  |  , ,  |  No Comments

Sinus Sister scrubs up for winter

We walk among you, undetected. If you watch closely, however, you’ll see we never touch a door handle or push a shopping cart without wearing gloves. We avoid shaking hands and we will never, ever grab the communal Ketchup at a restaurant. Sometime around Thanksgiving—either Canadian or American—we turn our attention to the one activity that gives us solace: washing our hands. With each murderous orgy of soapy rubbing, we smite the germs and declare ourselves victorious. TAKE THAT!

Welcome to hand washing season, commonly known as “winter”. Let me be your guide. Hand washing season begins with a messianic faith in pump-action liquid soap that claims to have sanitizing properties. A bottle of this soap will only last two weeks in high season, so stock up. Anyone living in your house who doesn’t share your enthusiasm for hand washing will comment frequently on your dedication to the process. Those comments will be tinged with concern and an edge of accusation—like, “don’t you dare go crazy on me”. This person will try to sucker punch you by suggesting therapy. Ignore that suggestion. It’s the default solution of someone with an iron-clad immune system. Resume hand washing. Repeat as needed. Don’t touch the doorknob on your way out of the public bathroom…but you already knew that, didn’t you?