Posts Tagged ‘Halls’
Indie culture voice Death + Taxes never disappoints:
By Carmel Lobello Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I’ve been sick with a cold for three and a half weeks. Without going into too many details, I have a sinus infection, which comes with a sore throat that makes me feel like I’m gulping wood splinters every time I swallow, a cough which has led me to pull a rib-muscle, and the kind of headache that makes you consider breaking your pinky toe with a hammer just to transfer the pain.
It’s been a rough few weeks—ones which I’ve tempered with an impressive concoction of Rite Aid’s finest medicinal offerings.
In addition to my second 10-day antibiotic prescription, I’m currently taking a cocktail of Sudafed (not the pussy PE shit), Chloraseptic throat-numbing spray, Zicam, Emergen-C (I’m a dreamer), and my new favorite food—Halls cherry-flavored “triple soothing action” cough drops. The package promises that the drops will “soothe sore throats, relieve coughs, and cool nasal passages”—all things I need.
And they pretty much seem to work—at least while they’re in my mouth. But Halls does something else, something not so soothing, that they doesn’t advertise on the bag—they make me want to cry.
Pulling up to an American gas station, Sinus Sister feels the squeeze.
The clever marketers at Halls are nosing into the hay fever market. That’s what I discovered while pumping gas, of all things, over the border. There was a video screen at the pump, where I saw an ad for Halls cough drops, followed by the day’s pollen count (Thanks to the gurus at Accu.Weather). Apparently cherry, honey-lemon and Mentho-Lyptus are the go-to allergy flavours–although they should consider making Long Island Iced Tea and Mojito… They’re more summery.
Sucking on a cough drop is really more of a winter thing, to me, but I felt the ad working its subliminal magic. Maybe a Halls would combat the dry air conditioning in the car? Maybe it would help whisk some of the phloem down my throat? Maybe it’s just easier to justify than a pack of Starburst on a road trip? Yes, that’s it. Who’s the sucker, you ask? Good question.