Posts Tagged ‘sinus’

Welcome, Brandon Dubinsky: A New York Ranger Joins the Sinus Sufferers

March 9, 2012  |  Celebrity Sinuses  |  , ,  |  2 Comments

We needed a hockey player—especially a center who can take a punch.

Brandon Dubinsky’s is on the bench with sinus pressure stemming from a few blows he sustained in a fight with the Devils’ Ryan Carter.

“I’m OK. I took it in the nose pretty good,” he said to Newsday. “The issue is the [sinus] pressure. The flight here was OK. It affects me more when I’m sleeping, lying down.

Brandon, welcome to the Sleep Sitting Up Club. I’d shake your hand, but we don’t shake hands. (See germ posts). Sinus Sister hasn’t slept flat on her back in years. Other things she does on her back notwithstanding. Here are a few tips from the Club.

1. Move the clock radio out of your new sight line. You will stare at it.

2. If a hotel has thin pillows, use a sofa cushion, wrapped in a towel.

3. Drink a steaming cup of tea or broth in bed.

4. Ease the sinus pressure with a hot compress. If you can’t sleep, get up and re-heat the compress a few times.

5. Ask your Puck Bunny to do #4 when she’s done watching Jersey Shore.*

*Sinus Sister doesn’t know if Dubinsky has a Puck Bunny or an actual wife. If he does, she may not watch Jersey Shore, but I bet she has a long ponytail and lots of baseball hats.

 

WARNING: Yoga Poses in the Mirror May Appear Safer

February 29, 2012  |  Lifestyle  |  , ,  |  2 Comments

In a bid to get her lungs back, Sinus Sister breathes deep

…in through the nose, out through the nose. No cheating. No mouth breathing. Slow and steady. All goes well with the yoga while I’m vertical. But two breathes into Downward Dog, the pain starts. It’s as if a dentist’s drill slipped off its target and went into a sinus cavity. The drill won’t rest until it dislodges an eye.  Ouch….OUCH….

“In through the nose, out through the nose”—my eye!

Staggering forward into Quitter’s Pose, Sinus Sister admits defeat and rolls up her mat, never again to do Downward Dog with a silent sinus infection. With no stuffy nose to warn her of impending pain, she learns that a so-called dry sinus infection is just as bad—and brutal for yoga.

#1 Tip to Avoid Death-By-Neti-Pot: Addressing the Neti Problem & Shoving Things into Our Orifices

Sinus Sister addresses the neti problem

The Villains: neti pots are the much-maligned wee teapots people use to rinse their sinuses. Not everyone is familiar with this ancient Indian technique, but when Dr. Oz featured neti pots on T.V. last January, they got a big shove into the mainstream. Neti pots are not yet ubiquitous like my beloved Tylenol Sinus, but they will soon be as accepted as thermometers—another health tool that gets inserted into our orifices.

So what’s the problem? They can kill you. This year, two Louisiana residents died after neti potting. And they weren’t idiots who rinsed with paint thinner. They used tap water, which delivered the so-called brain eating amoeba (Naegleria fowleri) into their system. It wasn’t pretty.

#1 Tip to Avoid Death-By-Neti-Pot: use distilled water. Alternately, boil tap water for 10 minutes and let it cool before use. Make sure to rinse out your neti pot and let it dry in the open air (not your medicine cabinet). Now, feel safe to enjoy the magical healing properties of Alladin’s sinus-soothing nose lamp.

Nature’s Dynamite for Stuffy Noses: Nasodren Review

November 29, 2011  |  Drug Reviews  |  , , , ,  |  32 Comments

Rating: ★★★★½ 

Spray and pray. That’s the cycle. My unreconstructed addiction to nasal sprays is a choice. I choose to risk the rebound effect, rather then breathe through my mouth like a knuckle dragger. Go ahead and tell me I have a problem. Just try it. This little addiction harms nobody, except me, when I get a bad batch and end up with boomerang blockage.

“It’s worth the risk,” I said, grabbing a reviewer’s sample of Nasodren. Immediately, I liked it because the packaging has braille. Blind people have bad sinuses, and every other condition, too. Next, I like the way the web site tells me things in laymen’s terms:

  • Nasodren® is a natural product that does not contain hormones or preservatives (whatever)
  • Nasodren® is a lyophilized natural extract of cyclamen europaeum L (okay, I can look that up)
  • Nasodren® has only a local effect, which means it is not absorbed into the blood stream and does not cause residual irritation of the mucous membranes (low boomerang risk)
    Okay, so it won’t corrode my sinuses. According to Google, cyclamen europaeum L is a much-loved hippie herb used for what they used to call “women’s troubles” and an assortment of mucous issues. That’s me! The spray requires some assembly, which isn’t a problem so much as it’s a problem when my nose is dripping—onto the  instructions. But the assembly is easy and quick—mixing water with the powdered herb—so I’m not terribly annoyed. As directed, I resist the urge to throw my head back and sniff while activating the pump. Instead, I keep the drama low and limit myself to one squirt per nostril….And that’s enough! It triggered a series of violent sneezes… then some urgent nose-blowing, following by….inhale…AIR FLOW. There was no discernible boomerang blockage after a few days use and no nasty taste in my mouth, like some sprays. Nasodren is a keeper. More specifically, it’s a keeper-in-the-fridge, where it needs to be stored. I guess I won’t be hoarding it my purse, after all, for guilty squirts in back alleys.

Best Unicorn Bait: Cavalia Review by Someone Who is Allergic to Horses

October 24, 2011  |  Lifestyle, Reviews  |  , , , ,  |  No Comments

Cavalia’s in town! If you don’t know what Cavalia is, imagine this: Cirque du Soleil meets the Calgary Stampede. Cue the New Age music because Cavalia is not, repeat NOT, a hoedown. It’s a fairy world of flying sprites and Middle Earth dresses. A tribe of bendy men do triple flips and bounce on stilts, while damsels-cum-gymnasts do miraculous things on horseback. The Big Top is the width of a football field, so the 50 horses have room to let loose. The entire show is excellent bait for unicorns, who threaten to appear at any moment.

Horses excite city girls—even city girls who were sent home from Equestrian Camp with a refund. Where there’s a barn, there’s hay. Where there’s hay….ACHOOOO! Equestrian Camp had been my idea, against mom’s better judgement and dad’s budget. But I went and sneezed for five days straight, before the camp leader invited me to leave (It wasn’t a complete loss; I got a sleeping bag). Ejection from horse camp in 1979 did nothing to deter me from seeing Cavalia in 2011. Quite the opposite. Wearing my best equestrian boots and armed with allergy medicine, I hightailed it to the Big Top. The show was a dizzying blur of antics on horseback and big-screen projections.

What we loved about Cavalia:  the trick riding, live music
What we could’ve done without: the slow-motion carousel number
What we really didn’t need: antihistamines
Most enchanting part: the stable tour, meeting the tumblers
Most regrettable gift shop purchase: voodoo horse doll
Number of tissues used: 0
Number of Unicorn Sightings: depends who you ask

Top 6 Sinus eBooks: A Roundup of Hay Fever and Allergy eBooks

Sinus Sister hits the e-books

Here’s a roundup of sinus-related ebooks. Sinus Sister isn’t endorsing them yet—not until she reads ’em—but she wants to give an overview of what’s online. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

1. The 24 Hour Sinus Breakthrough, by James Kennedy ($47 USD)

James Kennedy, if he exists, gives a compelling pitch for his book, The 24 Hour Sinus Breakthrough. He claims to have a natural remedy recipe made up of 4 simple ingredients that can be obtained at any pharmacy or drug store. When mixed and used properly, it’s supposed to literally dissolve sinus congestion, relieve the pressure and “vaporize” your sinus infection. James, we’re listening. For your trouble, James throws in four bonus books: “The Ultimate Starbucks Coffee & Deserts Recipe Ebook”; “The Secrets To Healthy Sleep”; “Back Pain Relief Secrets” and “How To Get Rid Of Your Snoring.” 

2. Home Remedies for Sinus Infections that Work, by Christina Starkman MD ($19 USD)

Dr. Starkman, if she exists, tells us what to expect in her ebook: causes and symptoms, old home remedies, nasal irrigation methods, best methods of steam inhalation, a list of immune-boosting supplements, herbal teas, natural decongestants, diet tips and notes on prevention. Sounds great. And I’m a sucker for someone with a medical degree—not just an aptitude for HTML.

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Best Tissue Box for Downton Abbey: Keep Calm and Carry On

Brilliant tissue box. Keep Calm and Carry On. Who said that? Churchill? Indirectly. After some investigation (i.e. in-depth and rigorous Google search), Sinus Sister learned that it was a slogan in a poster created by the British Ministry of Information in 1939, at the beginning of the Second World War. Indeed. It conjures images of stiff-upper-lip Brits brewing tea as the bombs fell.

When suffering from hay fever or a bad cold , this is the perfect slogan to get you threw the worst.  It’s also good to have this box of tissues handy while you’re watching the latest episode of Downton Abbey, the ever-so-prim Masterpiece Classic/PBS parlour drama set during World War One. It’s really about class divide and who’s tempted to cross it. Love is usually involved, of course, and money.

Why we love Downton Abbey:  all the corsets and tea cups

What we notice: everyone’s great posture and dic-tion

What we really notice: the evil class system

What we covet: the dresses

What we crave: the Upstairs/Downstairs skulduggery

Who’s hot: the Irish chauffeur (these days, the hot Irish guy’s usually a vampire or an I.T geek)

Buy your Keep Calm tissue box here, at Marye-Kelley. $36 (USD)

 

 

 


“Paper, Rock, Scissors, Pills”, by writer & sneezer Michael Murray

 EXCLUSIVE: Guest writer & blogger Michael Murray tells Sinus Sister about his honker:

Paper, Rock, Scissors, Pills

My sinuses are bad, like Darth Vader.

They dress in black and ride a pale horse. They’ll ask if you’ve gained a little weight right when you’re feeling pretty good about yourself. They won’t laugh when you say something really funny. They buy you a self-help book for your birthday.  They’re the most evil sinuses in the multiverse and they are mysterious in their ways. For no discernible reason, they descend on black wing and transform my head into a slushy, congealing sac of misery.

I plague my wife, Rachel, with my theories for the most recent onset:

  • Whenever the seasons change I’m doomed.
  • It might be because I haven’t had a steak in awhile. That usually sets them off.
  • I should know better than to wear gingham, it’s an obvious trigger.
  • There was a squirrel on the fire escape earlier, that’s probably it.

Rachelle always pulls out her phone and begins to play Angry Birds when I launch into such analysis. She’s just not a very helpful woman. No matter, the other day while wandering through Chinatown I stopped into an Herbalist and Acupuncture place and asked the guy working the counter if he had anything that would help.

“Acupuncture no good. You need to do it constantly. I can see you have it bad, you have big face but small body, and it clear you have no money to do acupuncture all the time. I get you something.”

Insulted, but relieved that I didn’t have to become some acupuncture hippy, I stood and waited, a video of Cher singing If I Could Turn Back Time, playing improbably from the TV set behind the counter. When he returned he handed me what looked to be a baggy full twigs and other dried things.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Cure for your sinuses. It work great.”

“Yes, but what’s in the bag?”

“Herbs.”

“What sort of herbs?”

“It is secret.”

“It looks like you just went to the back room, swept some stuff off the floor, dumped it in this ziplock bag and are now trying to sell it to me.”

“You very ethnocentric man. You prefer me to give you pill full of chemical things you know nothing about?”

“Yes, yes I do.”

“I get you red pills. You wait here.”

Feeling like I had just bought some magic beans, I took the subway home humming Cher songs. I then took two red pills, as  instructed. After about an hour my life changed. I was thinking clearly and full of energy. I did a few dishes, looked for an old baseball hat I had forgotten all about and took our dog for a walk. Honestly, I hadn’t felt so revitalized and alive in years! I shoplifted from the corner store ( a longstanding dream of mine), wolf whistled at a high school girl, and then wrote three angry emails to people who had disappointed me.

I tell you, these red pills are awesome.

Tastes a bit like cherry.

For more Michael Murray, check out his blog and web site. Better yet, find him on Facebook.